How to start senior dating again with your adult childrenPosted by Admin |
When you become a widow or newly single from a late-in-life divorce, the prospect of ever dating again can be terrifying. And, if you have adult children, the prospect of you dating again can terrify them. On top of that, your children may come up with all kinds of reasons why you shouldn’t date. Most of these reasons are usually out of selfishness – not in a bad way, but out of respect for the other parent.
When you’re a parent of adult children, finding love on some senior dating sites can be a little tricky. However, it can be done. And, it’s done by knowing where your adult children are coming from. Why are they acting like you dating is the end of the world… for them? Believe it or not, their concern for you may not be as misplaced as you may think. And, taking their feelings into consideration will help make for an easier dating time for you.
1. It’s Not Their Other Parent
Children are usually protective of both parents… even after a death or a divorce. Your children may see your dating as disrespect to the other parent’s memory – a replacement. The idea of you dating hurts them. Some children may not say anything until you decide that marriage is the right thing for you. Marriage to them is a smack in the face to the other parent’s memory.
How do you deal with this? Sit down with them and have a heart-to-heart. Let them know that you have needs to – that go beyond anything physical. Let them know you understand where they’re coming from, but that even though you’re their parent, you are still a person too.
2. Protection From Further Heartache
If your spouse died, whether you were together for a short time or a long time, your adult children may be concerned that your getting involved with another person may lead to even more heartache for you. The same feeling goes for if you get divorced. For you, you need to explain to them that your age brings different perspectives on relationships. The idea is to get them to see that the risk you take is worth the joy you feel in the relationship.
3. Prior Abuse In Relationships
Your children may be concerned about the potential for abuse, especially if it’s happened previously. While you may regard their intrusion as a nuisance, you should appreciate the concern they have for your well-being. You can ease their anxiety by telling them they’ll get to meet your dates after several weeks of dating.
Another issue they may be concerned with is using being taken advantage of by a con-man/woman. If it’s been a while since you’ve dated anyone, you need to be cautious about the people you meet. If someone starts asking for money, it’s time to walk away.
If you can get your children to see that you are being proactive in your dating life, it’ll rest their fears just a little bit.
The idea is to get your children to understand that your dating is not a replacement for their other parent or a disrespect to their memory. You must show them that you respect how they feel but that you do have needs that need to be met – not just physically but emotionally. While they may not be happy with your choices, they may eventually realize that you’re right and give you their “blessing”. They may note their objections from time to time but it’s important for you to remain strong.
Everybody is entitled to have a love life… even senior citizens with an adult children. Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean you stop living. It’s time for you to get out there and live, meet new people and have a good time dating!